Apam Aitkan (Mom Said) | Zere
Commentary by Angelachiara Allegretti | Illustration by Armadilly
Apam Aitkan, in English ‘Mom said’, is the title of the new song by the young Kyrgyz singer and activist Zere Asylbek, become famous in 2018 with the song Kyz (Girl). Released in November 2020, the song is about the harassment women face in Kyrgyzstan and the singer’s own experience. The title refers to the advice that the artist used to receive from her mother, which she recalls in the song: “Mom said not to stay on my own”, “Daughter, girls need to be more careful”, and “Don’t stay out too late.” Asylbek is very present in women’s rights rallies and on social media, denouncing the widespread violation of those rights.
In the music video integrating the song, Asylbek symbolically wears an orange cloak in connection to the 16-day Orange the World global initiative to promote awareness of gender-based violence, which started in November 2020. The video racked up about 11,000 views within a day of being uploaded, and reactions have been mostly positive.
Women’s rights activists are direly needed in Kyrgyzstan, a country which considers the custom of ala-kachuu, literally ‘to take a young woman and run away’, a tradition. Until 2012, this aptly named Soviet practice, involving the kidnapping of young women for marriage, could only be prosecuted if the victim reported its occurrence. In 2012, the Kyrgyz parliament voted to toughen the penalty for this widely practiced custom, making it punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
However, according to the 2013-2014 report of the UN Committee for the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), based on data collected from the NGO Women Support Center, at least 11,800 women and girls are kidnapped each year in Kyrgyzstan. In in the first six months of 2019 alone, 118 occurrences of ala-kachuu were registered. Besides this, according to the Minister of Internal Affairs, in 2019, a total of 8,159 cases of domestic violence were recorded, a significant increase from the 7,114 cases reported in 2017.
As a matter of fact, despite the calls for action and the damning data showing that this phenomenon is not receding, gender-based violence continues to receive limited attention from local authorities, who make too little efforts to change the situation.
Баратамын жалгыз
Байланган чачым ынабай калды
Оңго-солго, оңго-солго
Кулагымдагы обон, башта
Жолумдагы койгон ташта
Ойно, ойно, ойно, ойно
Жанымда бир балдар жанымды койбой асылып
алган
Үчөө
Кой десеңда болбойт булар
Атайын ушитип козгойт
Унчукпай кой, унчукпай кой
Алтыга чыкканда апам айткан
Кызым, кыз баласың, абайлагын
Он алтыга чыкканда апам кайталаган
Кызым, кыз баласың, абайлагын
Абайлагын
Абайлагын
Абайлагын
Балким жакшы балдар
Балким бир нерсе түшүрүп алгам
Ким билет? Ким билет?
Укпагандай болуп атам
Үн чыгарбай бара жатам
Тезирээк! Тезирээк!
Неге мага асылгандан кайра өзүм уяламын?
Неге?
Неге булар эркин жүрөт, а мен болсо
абайлаймын?
Неге?
Алтыга чыкканда апам айткан
Кызым, кыз баласың, абайлагын
Он алтыга чыкканда апам кайталаган
Кызым, кыз баласың, абайлагын
Апам айткан Эч качан жалгыз кала көрбө,
кызым
Апам айткан Кеч калып жолдо жүрө көрбө,
кызым
Апам айткан Ар-кандай адамдар бар,
абайлагын, кыз баласың, абайлагын
(Жалгыз эч чыкпайт элеңго сен!)
(Кеч кирбестен тез үйүңө кел!)
Апам айткан Эч качан жалгыз кала көрбө,
кызым
Апам айткан Кеч калып жолдо жүрө көрбө,
кызым
Апам айткан Ар-кандай адамдар бар,
абайлагын, кыз баласың, абайлагын
I am going alone
My hair is unkempt
Right-left, right-left
The melody in my ear, first
Throw a stone in my path
Play, play, play, play
Some boys hanged me
Three
You can’t do that
Deliberately so excited
Shut up, shut up
When I was six, my mother told me
Be careful, my daughter
When I was sixteen, my mother repeated it
Be careful, my daughter
Be careful
Be careful
Be careful
Maybe good guys
Maybe have dropped something
Who knows? Who knows?
My father is deaf
I am walking silently
Faster! Faster!
Why am I ashamed to be hanged? Why?
Why do they move freely, but I am careful?
Why?
When I was six, my mother told me
Be careful, my daughter
When I was sixteen, my mother repeated it
Be careful, my daughter
My mother told me to never be alone, my daughter
My mother told me don’t be late, my daughter
There are all kinds of people my mom said, be careful girl, be careful
(You would never go out alone!)
(Come home before it’s too late!)
My mother told me to never be alone, my daughter
My mother told me don’t be late, my daughter
There are all kinds of people my mom said, be careful, girl, be careful
About The Author
Angelachiara Allegretti
Chiara holds a MA in Political Science from the University of Bologna. She is specialized in energy and environmental issues in the Post-Soviet space, but she is also interested in conflicts, human rights, and elections.